Copy of Just Say "You're Welcome"

— And Why It’s So Hard (But So Important)

By Jenny Heins

I used to be really bad at taking compliments.

If someone told me I looked great, I’d immediately fire back, “You do too!”

If they praised something I did, I’d say, “Oh, it was nothing.”

If they told me I was inspiring, I’d change the subject or make a joke about being a hot mess.

Sound familiar?

For a long time, I didn’t even realize I was doing it. But once I became aware of it, I started noticing how often I’d squirm my way out of a kind word. It was like compliments made me itchy—too vulnerable, too exposed, too seen.

Then one day, my entrepreneur friend, Jewell Vold, told me something that shifted my entire perspective. She said, “You know what changed me? I stopped brushing off compliments. I just started saying ‘you’re welcome.’ And it made me feel… worthy.”

At first, I laughed. That’s it? Just say “you’re welcome” and suddenly you feel whole?

But then I tried it.

The next time someone complimented my work, I didn’t deflect. I didn’t say it was no big deal. I just looked them in the eye, smiled, and said, “You’re welcome.”

It felt weird. But it also felt right.

We’ve Been Taught to Minimize Ourselves

I started paying attention after that. And I realized most people—especially women, especially caretakers, especially high-achievers—suck at accepting compliments.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that humility means invisibility. That being “modest” means brushing off our effort, our beauty, our brilliance. That if we say “thank you,” or worse, “you’re welcome,” we’ll come off arrogant or self-absorbed.

I also used to feel this weird pressure to return the compliment right away. Like if someone said something kind to me, I had to come up with something kind to say back or it would feel unbalanced.

But what if we’ve had it backwards?

What if receiving the compliment is part of the growth? What if acknowledging the impact we make doesn’t make us self-centered—it makes us self-aware? This isn’t a tennis match. You don’t have to volley something back just to keep things even. Sometimes, the most respectful thing you can do is simply receive the compliment without rushing to return one. It honors the moment, and it honors the other person’s sincerity.

The Psychology Behind It

This isn’t just a mindset shift—it’s science.

Neuroscience research has shown that receiving a compliment activates the same part of the brain as getting a financial reward. Compliments literally light up your brain’s reward center, encouraging you to repeat positive behavior and deepening your sense of self-worth.

But if you deflect or deny the compliment, you cut off that reward loop. Instead of reinforcing a healthy sense of value, your brain interprets the rejection of praise as, “This isn’t true. I’m not worthy.”

Over time, it chips away at your confidence.

Even common, well-meaning responses like:

• “No problem.”

• “It was nothing.”

• “I didn’t really do much.”

…can send the message that you don’t believe your contribution was meaningful. You might think you’re being polite—but you’re actually invalidating yourself and the person who tried to uplift you.

Compliments Are a Gift. Stop Throwing Them Away.

Imagine giving someone a wrapped present and watching them toss it aside with a shrug:

“Oh, I don’t need this.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t have.”

“I’m not good enough for this.”

You’d feel a little hurt, right?

That’s what happens every time we swat away a compliment. The giver walks away feeling dismissed, and we walk away feeling… well, nothing. Because we never let the kindness land.

But when you say “you’re welcome,” something beautiful happens:

• You affirm the other person’s observation.

• You receive the moment with grace.

• You allow yourself to be seen and celebrated.

• 
  

And if you’re someone who gives compliments all the time (hi, that’s me), then you especially need to practice receiving. You deserve to be poured into, too.

Try It—Even If It Feels Weird

The next time someone compliments you, pause. Don’t rush to hand it back like a hot potato.

Just smile. Say “thank you.” Or even better—try “you’re welcome.”

Let it land. Let it live in your bones for a minute.Because chances are, they meant it.And you’re allowed to believe it.

A Little Challenge for You

This week, don’t reject a single compliment. Not one.

Keep track if you need to—write them down.

Don’t return them, don’t deflect, don’t explain them away.

Just receive.

You might be surprised how powerful it feels to be acknowledged—and to let yourself stay in that light for a moment.

Jewell was right. Two little words really can change everything.